Ephesians Chapter 6 (part 1)
I. Children are to obey their parents
Ephesians 6:1“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
A. This is quite possibly one of the most often ignored scriptures in the
Bible.
1. I have never witnessed so many disobedient, irreverent, and unruly
children in my entire life as there are in the time we now live in.
a. Children are allowed to talk back to their parents, teachers,
authority figures in general, and family members without serious
consequence.
b. As a result, we have children killing each other in the schools,
children having babies or even worse aborting babies, and
children filling the dockets in court rooms across the nation for
every crime imaginable.
2. Why is this a problem? Because parents have gotten away from the
word of God and no longer use Biblical principles to raise their
children.
a. They would much rather listen to whatever child psychologist is
in Newsweek or appears on Opra and Dr. Phil. We will look
closer at the parents role in verse 4.
3. What is the Apostle Paul trying to teach children here in verses 1-3?
a. 1st He reminds children that being obedient to their parents is not
a suggestion, it is the first commandment that yields a promise
from God.
Ephesians 6:2-3“Honor your father and mother (which is the
first commandment with a promise),
3. so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”
Ø It is actually the fifth commandment, but the first to make a
promise to children. What is that promise?
· The promise is that things may go well for them and that their live
may be prolonged here on earth.
Ø That’s right, disobedience can cause a child’s life to be
shortened. Why? Because it disgraces the chain of authority
that God has set up. Therefore, It disgraces God.
Ø If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. An undisciplined child will have
an undisciplined life. An undisciplined life renders a lack of self control as that
person only seeks their immediate satisfaction.
Ø This child is more likely to grow up and disobey laws, use controlled substances,
and many other things that the child who has been taught limits and consequences
has a better chance of avoiding.
· For examples of this in Scripture look at King David’s
children who were hopelessly spoiled, as well as Eli’s
children who were also spoiled, Just to name a few.
II. Fathers discipline and instruct your children in the Lord
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
A. The reason children grow up disobedient and with so many problems
is because they have not been correctly trained by their parents. It is the parents fault.
1. Paul says that Fathers should not provoke their children to anger,
what does that mean? Does that mean that he should not discipline
them if that makes them mad? Of course not.
a. This means that they should not burden them with unreasonable
demands, show favoritism between siblings, and things like
these because it discourages the child and makes them feel
hopeless and angry.
2. Paul then said that Fathers are to bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord. What does that mean?
a. The Bible is very plain that parents are to physically discipline
their children.
Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not hold back discipline from the child,
although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
14. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.”
Ø This is in no way telling you to abuse your children, simply to spank
them so that they understand that disobedience leads to painful consequences.
Ø If you don’t teach your children to obey their parents, who that can
see, how will they ever respect and obey God, Whom they can’t see?
Ø It literally says that you may rescue them from Sheol, or the Hebrew
equivalent of hell. We’ll look closer at that concept here in a moment.
b. The Bible also speaks in many other places about the importance
of discipline.
Proverbs 13:24 “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he
who loves him disciplines him diligently.”
c. Parents today believe that their first responsibility is to be
their kids friend and ensure that their child is never
unhappy. This is simply not the case.
Ø You think by not disciplining them you are showing them
love, when in reality you are showing them hatred!
Ø Do you remember the spoiled kid in school that everyone
could not stand? You are setting your child up to be that kid!
Ø What about the kid you knew that was always in trouble,
always talking back to authorities, always on probation,
always getting arrested, kicked out of sports, expelled and
the like?
· By not vehemently training your child that disobedience leads to
punishment you are teaching them that the rules don’t apply to them
and you are setting them up to be that child who is always in trouble.
Ø By not disciplining them you are actually hating them because you are
very probably dooming their future.
d. Your responsibility to your children is to train them so
that they will be equipped to face this world when they grow
up and function peacefully, and independently in it.
· Your most important task and top priority is to train them in the Scriptures
so that they will know the Lord so that when they die they can be with Jesus.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should
go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
e. Discipline them while they are young and you will find that they will accept
it much more easily and by the time they are 4or 5 they will
already be obedient and easier to control and not even remember
why.
Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”
3. One of the saddest things I have encountered in my ministry, and
I have encountered it many times, is when I have to stand over the
casket of a young girl or boy who died tragically, holding their
parents sobbing in my arms.
a. One of the comments that is so sad that I hear them say is that
they wish they had raised them to know and love the Lord.
b. I have also counseled the parent whose child is sitting in jail facing serious
time who had the same regrets.
c. Although perfectly normal and obedient Christian children still can be involved in a tragedy,
the regret that I have observed from the parents who have not disciplined and or trained
their children in the Lord is much greater.
B. Do you want your children to have long and prosperous lives, and to
one day spend eternity in heaven? Then here are a few tips you should
follow.
1. Read the Bible to them and with them, there are lots of great stories
and life lessons they can learn at a very young age.
a. When they are young their hearts are still tender and unspotted
from the world, they are more likely to trust the Lord before the
world starts desensitizing them.
b. Remember, if a person wants to become a Christian they need to
become more trusting like a child, not the reverse.
Mark 10:15 “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.”
2. Get them involved in a good Bible teaching church and take them to
Sunday school, youth group and the like.
3. Praise their Sunday school work and projects as much as you do
their grades at school so they understand it is important.
4. Live what you teach, kids can spot a hypocrite from a mile away.
5. Discipline them diligently, and consistently. If they know that they
are only going to get in trouble 2 out of five times they will take
their chances.
a. Remember, children should not be allowed to argue and speak
harshly to you. If they will talk like that to you, they will
eventually talk like that to teachers, police, bosses, etc.
6. Don’t make excuses for their bad behavior. I hate hearing parents
say stupid stuff like, “no mater what I do it doesn’t work.” That just
tells me that your lazy and inconsistent.
a. I also hate to hear parents always blaming the kid their child
hangs out with. Your child has to make good choices despite the
company they keep.
b. If they think that every time they do something wrong that you will blame someone else,
then they begin to think that they have a lifelong pass on responsibility, it will always be
someone else’s fault. They become the chronic victim.
7. Pray with your children, let them know that having and active and
loving open line of communication with God is important.
8. If you follow not only these few steps, but all the teachings of the
Bible on child rearing, you will find that you will have a child that
you and others will enjoy.
a. Also, they will bring honor to you and, most probably, also bring
great glory to God when they grow up.
Proverbs 29:15, 17“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child
who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
17. Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul.”
Study Questions
1. Which commandment is listed in verse 2?
2. What is special about this commandment?
3. What is the promise?
4. What could the repercussions be for a child that does not honor their
parents?
5. What does it mean to provoke your children?
6. What does it mean to discipline your children?
7. What are parents displaying to their children when they don’t discipline
them? Explain in your own words you answer.
8. Why should a person start disciplining while a child is still young?
9. Who receives shame if a child is disobedient?
10 Who receives honor and joy when a child is properly trained and
disciplined?
11. What are some good ways to train your child up in the Lord?
12. How can you improve in the area of training your children to help ensure
their future success both in this world and spiritually?